Hello fellow Legislators, and welcome to the Council Chambers of The New York City of Unofficial No Gods No Mayors Fansites!

"There's no damn room for the two of us. And there's nothing left to say. There's no damn room for the two of us - so get the hell out of my waaaaaaay!- Last Mayor Standing, Or: The Righteous Wrath of an Honorable Mayor," by listener Vik Melter.

With that out of the way, please meet your fellow City Councilors!

This week's mayor is: Mattie Lubchansky, for Episode 76 of Season 1, on Troy Thompson, of Townsville.

Please enjoy fan works for No Gods No Mayors!

Listen to the Rob Ford documentary episode to hear Last Mayor Standing, which can no longer be listened to anywhere else :( PSYCH it's available on youtube again. Or at least I'm pretty sure it wasnt available for some amount of time. Listen here!

Want to learn more about civic meetings? Want to see meeting minutes from municipalities across the US and Canada? That use CivicBand, a database created by another listener of the show. The datbase contains"Meeting data for the US and Canada. Nearly 900 municipalities. 375 cities, with their attending mayors. Over [12] million pages of civic documents. Fully searchable and linkable" Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of city councils? CivicBand knows!

Please enjoy the work of CamstonIsland, a long time fan of the Novemberverse, and their video regarding a popcorn mogul couping a town.

Relax with the mayoral rodeo music of ME REX!

Time to Embattlement (TTE) Scores

• Eric Adams: September 24, 2024; 998 days into term he is indicted in federal court. Score: 0.684
• Kwame Kilpatrick: 458 days into term on April 30, 2003, at around 3:40 a.m., Mayor Kilpatrick allegedly had Tamara Green murdered for embarassing the mayor by angering his wife. Score: 0.314
• T. Dan Smith: ~11 years into his position of Leader of the City Council of Newcastle, he was charged with bribery related to his painting business. Score:~2.75. The precise date of his embattlement is still being researched.
• Benjamin Franklin Butler: 15 days into occupying New Orleans, General Butler issued General Order No. 28 on May 15, 1865. Score: 0.005.
• Note: A higher score is a sign of a mayor who went longer without becoming embattled. Not all mayors on the podcast become embattled. Some complete their terms without serious risk to their careers or reputations. Other mayors are so enmeshed in scandal that determining a speciic moment of embattlement may be considered arbtirary. And still other mayors did not have an official term per se, and so determining their TTE may also be arbitrary. Criminal indictment, or the specific date of a crime that quickly becomes widely known, is the clearest indicator of embattlement. Without guidance from the podcast hosts the standardization of the TTE score calculation method is a work in progress. Currently the score is calculated by finding the date of embattlement, then measuring the number of days from the start of their mayoralty. The number of days is then divided by the number of days in a mayoral term. Mayors who are not elected or appointed have a default term of 8 years, as a penalty for lacking the public approval seeking aspect that mayors usually carry early on. Mayors who are elected or appoitned but dont have a specific term as the mayor have a default term of 4 years.

Goodman Awards - 2025

• Best post-Mayoral career: Tiffany Heynard's boutique in a strip mall selling athleisure in Georgia; Rudolph Giuliani and his many things, including melting hair dye and a mysterious car accident; Bill de Blasio, a loveable oaf who is kind of around eating "me sandwich especial".
• Best Eric Adams related debacle: That time he gave a tour of his son's house pretending it was his own; the gigantic Turkish consulate that overlooks the UN, which he signed off on because they gave him enough vacations to Turkiye; the time he said the city would buy a fleet of drones to calm drowning people with the sound of his voice, even though this did not happen.
• G** P*******: Frank Melton. No other candidates presented.
• City that's also a character: Leichardt, Australia (Larry Hand); Wasilla, Alaska (Sarah Palin); Vernon, California (Leonis C. Malburg).
• Best Court Document: sexts between Kwame Kilpatrick and his campaign manager; Sal Bonacorso, in that the New Jersey court system required many lawyers to be very serious while referring to an audio-tape of Bonacorso saying the n-word (not to imply that the mayors of the show approve of this); Troy Thompson's statement that he suffered 100+ concussions.
• Golden Vizier: Tony "Cursed Tony" Accurso, of the Montreal construction grift; Darcy Shoning, ex-friend of GLANT; Ingrid Lews-Martin, vizier to Eric Adams.
• Best Feud: Fiorello Laguardia vs Robert Moses; Sam Yorty vs the Kennedys; Mel Lastman vs. Howard Moscow.
• T. Dan Smith award for Historical Bag-Fumbling: Benjamin Franklin Butler not becoming Abe Lincolns VP, thereby averting actually good Reconstruction; Hiram Gill, who could maybe have started a socialist revolution; Soapy Smith, who fumbled the Klondike Gold Rush and the Denver Crime Commune.
• The Whitest Elephant: Curtis D. Menard Memorial Sports Center/ the Palin basketball and hockey arena; the complete works of Boris Johnson, including the garden bridge he did not build; Isaltino Morais and the One-Stop/Two-Stop/Three-Stop monorail.
• Ralph Klein Lifetime Acheivement Award for Drunkest Mayor: Rob Ford's crazy night at the beer market; Ralph Klein ; Darren Lyons.
• Best Short Mayor: the time Vincent Van Quickenborn and his friends were filmed peeing on a police van that was there to protect him after he received death threats; Statue of Pavarotti getting covered by an ice rink; the entire trial of Kristen Fullnecky (HAHAHAHAHA WHAT A NAME), because she's super annoying to everyone in her life.
• Best Scam, crime, scheme, flimflam or sham: Vit Jedlickta; Steven R. Reed and his Wild West museum; Kabelo Gwamanda and his faked death over a funeral insurance scam.
• Best Mayor in a Foreign Language (non-Portugese category): Salvatore Lima ; Gabe Announcements ; Vit Jedlickta
• Best Mayor in a Foreign Language (Portugese category): Isaltino Morais . No other candidates presented.
• Best Alderman in a supporting role: Gor Vardanyan; Soapy Smith's gang with funny names; the bears of Grafton ; New Hampshire.
• Best Lady Mayor: Sarah Palin; Carolyn Goodman; Tiffany Henyard, who spreads until ALL ARE ONE.
• Best Male in a Mayoral Role: Oscar Goodman; Etienne Cabet ; Soapy Smith.
• Notes: an award named for Mr. Dressup was not issued this year; Glant Havenar was deemed to be too recently introduced to be included in the court documents category.

Errors made by the Mayors of NGNM:

• Curt Skoog is the mayor of a city in Kansas, not Texas.
• ""it's a podcast about mayors" WRONG it's about being a transexual and mattie proved this by owning a synthesizer" - User "10 Hour Depression Nap"'s comment on the Ken Sim episode.

Noticed another error made by the hosts? Submit it to: cantgoforthatohno@gmail.com!

Facts about Mayors and the episodes they've been in:

• The Mega-Brothel in the Hiram Gil episode was destroyed in 1951 when a B-51 Superfortress flew into it (by accident).
• Nova likes Swiss airlines.
• Mattie is an award winning comic artist.
• Riley collects wine but only drinks it sometimes.
• Current Mayor of the Vatican: Pope Leo (they say he's pretty woke for a pope, which is not that woke to be honest).
• This was not mentioned in the Gabe Announcements episode, but while he took over the city there was a Japanese man who taught people in the city Karate.

The City Council has passed a resolution stating that the Council believes the Mayortaculis will reveal the following mayors in due time with all deliberate speed:

• Guy Fieri, the mayor of Flavortown.
• Julius Caesar
• Mark Funkhouser, of Kansas City, Missouri
• Whichever Eunuchs were in charge of the Forbidden City, given that it is larger than the Vatican.
• The Princes of Monaco. Nobody ever talks about how microstates are governed.
• The Princes of Liechtenstein.
• The Captains Regent of San Marino. (They're still around!)
• Joseph Smith, second mayor of Nauvoo, Illinois.
• Andrew Ryan
• Xi Jinping, 1985–1988: Deputy Mayor, Xiamen
• Robert House
• The Mayor of Funkytown
• Those multiple anabaptist guys who took over Muenster and started a whole lot of shit.

Which episode of NGNM has been the best so far?

(All candidates on this referendum were proposed by the City Council)